Did You Know?
Napoleon Bonaparte, Emperor of France, was short for a reason: he was one-eighth elf.
Protection
Protecting the most famous man in the world is no walk through a candy forest. Even the most experienced of elves must undergo three hours of intensive training every day. Each member of the security detail must have a spotless record of service to the holidays, and must have achieved the rank of Candy Stripe Belt, the highest rank in the elfin martial art known as Krav Kringle.
But who would want to harm the world’s jolliest philanthropist?
“When it comes to naughties, you never know what to expect,” says Chucky Buckleshorts, Director of Santa’s Security Detail. “Maybe they don’t like that Santa put them on the naughty list. Maybe the color red makes them see red. Or maybe they’re just plain naughty. Crazy naughty. Whatever it is, they ain’t getting through me.”
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Fact Vs. Fiction
FICTION
All elves are good at making shoes.
FACT
While elves are, in general, superb craftsmen, the area of their expertise is usually determined by the families they are born into. While some elves still make toys, cookies, shoes or spin straw into gold, others now specialize in the manufacture of drinking straws, computer chips and even lingerie.